Making Adjustments

Today I moved a desk into my room. I really didn’t want to change my furniture around in there because I have really been liking my setup a lot. But I haven’t been able to concentrate well on getting my reading done out in the kitchen or living room with the many distractions found in television and the Internet and the refrigerator. So I gave in, moved some things around, and promptly had an attack of some kind…a bit of a freak-out, really, complete with tears. I thought I was done with “student apartments” and being broke all the time and having no time to do what I want guilt-free…and now it is official that I am back into that mode. I feel like I’ve taken a huge step backwards in terms of what stage of life I’m in. I am trying very hard to fit school into my lifestyle without changing who I am too much. It’s really hard, once you’ve been out in the working world with a regular paycheque, benefits, etc. to jump back into the academic world. Harder than I thought. Not because of the actual material that I’m studying, but because of the lifestyle changes that I have been making. I guess I will continue to keep my primary goal in mind, but a very real part of me is rejecting all of this change.

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