I’m a career commitment-phobic.

I think I’ve figured out why I’ve been freaking out a bit over the whole real estate thing. It’s a career, not a job. I’ve had many jobs, but not what you would traditionally consider a Career. Most real estate agents who are successful sell homes for many, many years. The thought of willingly committing to the same line of work for many, many years is scary to me. What if I don’t like it? What if I get bored of it? What if I’m not good at it? I don’t like the “salesman” stigma that is sometimes associated with real estate agents. I’ve never imagined myself as a salesperson, and still don’t. Graham says I should try not to spend so much time thinking so far ahead into the future and just try. I don’t know what I’m getting myself so worked up about. I’ve told myself many times that I would like to find something to do for a living that I like enough to do for longer than a few years, and now that that possibility is upon me, I’m having a hard time. Is this what I’m going to be when I grow up? At times I have a huge amount of regret at having left my full-time job last year. I had such a good thing going there and I didn’t even know it. I’d like to hit the rewind button and smack some sense into my then-self. Benefits, decent hours, a marketable skill, independent work, time with my husband, time to pursue other interests, balance. I must have been crazy to give that up. I do know that Graham deserves a partner who works as hard as he does toward our mutual success, so at the very least I owe it to him (and to myself) to give it my full attention and just see what happens. Am I over-thinking all of this?

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