I really feel I must comment on tonight’s American Idol, since this ridiculousness with Sanjaya has gone on long enough. I know there’s a faction willing him to stay, since they feel it’s more entertaining to keep him around. Although I agree that this manipulating of the votes isn’t going to damage the better singers, I really don’t think these people are doing Sanjaya any favours. I suppose he’s opening himself up to ridicule just by being on the show, but the poor guy is really being humiliated.
Also, the judges have fancy NEW COKE CUPS. How could I ignore that?
On to the contestants.
I thought Haley‘s shorts were a skirt at first, but thankfully I was wrong. And where is her bra? It looks like she has a cymbal hanging off of each ear. She does have great legs, though, I’ll give her that. I feel like she’s pulling out all the stops, and that means sexing up her act. Graham says she should bring out “the pole”. I think he was hoping for a wardrobe malfunction.
Okay, what was with that bawling kid in the audience?
On to Chris R. Sigh. He just has that boy band voice I hate. And I don’t think that scruff is really working for him. “Don’t Let the Sun Catch You Crying” is such a beautiful song, but Chris sounds a little whinier than I can tolerate on the radio. Otherwise, he’s very likeable, though. I bet Paula’s going to love this. Oh god, she said it was sexy. Dirty Paula.
Why is Ryan double-miked? He has a mike on each lapel. Maybe he’s so tiny that it throws his weight to one side and so they have to balance him out so he doesn’t tip over?
Hmm, they’re sneaking in stuff about how there are “serious” singers and how the top ten get into the summer tour. I believe this translates into telling America to cut out the Sanjaya nonsense. He’s NO GOOD, PEOPLE.
It must be really fun to sing in front of that huge orchestra. I’m disappointed in Stephanie‘s footwear this week. Loathing the boots. She’s a good singer, but I don’t think this is her best work. In a way I feel bad for her because I think she’s always being compared to Melinda and LaKisha. I think she falls just behind them. Paula always compliments the contestants’ clothing when their singing sucks.
Blake sounds good! Oh Paula loves it. In fact, I think Blake knows the ladies love him. He’s become our favourite male contestant. He’ll be very safe. Randy says he’s got that elusive “Yo Factor”. When Randy coins a phrase, he really runs with it, doesn’t he? Ryan’s willingness to make an ass out of himself is very endearing. As my mom put it, “It’s like the singers are the commercials and Ryan Seacrest is the show.”
LaKisha‘s song is boring and her breasts are distracting. The song sounds like it belongs on the soundtrack to a James Bond movie or something. I don’t think the audience is really going to get it at all. I WAS RIGHT! It was a James Bond song. Thank you, Randy. Ryan, stop talking about “the runs”.
Phil, you really should just always wear a hat. Always. I’m going to go out on a limb here and reveal I know something about a Star Trek movie. He reminds me of Praetor Shinzon from Star Trek: Nemesis.

Where were we? Oh yeah. I think Simon is being a bit hard on Phil.
Jordin looks totally different with her hair straightened. She’s beautiful. I think she’s better than Stephanie tonight. She gets right into it when she sings, which the audience adores.
How can Peter Noone say that all of the contestants at this point are equally talented? That’s just bullshit, and I everyone knows it. Oh, it’s so funny that Sanjaya‘s lyrics are “I don’t know what I’m doin’” and Simon’s going to call him on it. Oh, there’s that happily bawling girl again. I know now why all the Stern fans want to keep him around. It’s just too entertaining to let it die. It’s so bad. But I stand by my original opinion above. ENOUGH WITH THE CRYING GIRL. Dig deep for those votes. (Guilty confession: I’ve just tried to check out votefortheworst.com and can’t get on the site. Traffic must be through the roof over there. )
Gina‘s talking about blog critiques. THE NERVE. She has the tendency to mumble a little. She reminds me of someone, like maybe Chrissy Hines. Graham doesn’t think she did the song justice, but I liked it. She’s a rocker chick. I wish Randy would stop calling women “man”. It’s moronic. The hard time Gina is being given seems a bit harsh in light of the fact that Sanjaya can’t. fucking. sing.
I don’t know how to say I’m done with Chris Sligh without sounding like an asshole. He just sounds and looks the same each week. And now there’s a “Fro Patrol”? I can’t roll my eyes enough to express how I feel about that.
Kolleen, you’re right, Melinda has no neck. I think she has osteoporosis or something. Graham slowed down the PVR to watch her hock a loogey in slow motion. But I don’t care because her singing makes the hair on my arms stand up. She’s still my favourite.
Bottom line: If Sanjaya wasn’t in the equation, I’d guess he’d be going. Otherwise I predict that Phil, Hayley and Chris Sligh will be in the bottom three.
That little girl is going to be severely dehydrated by the end of the show.
The mother of the bride dresses are often left for the last moment, like the wedding shoes or sometimes the wedding flowers. These arrangements as well as appointments for wedding hairstyles should be made before the wedding invitation goes out.

Do you think the crying kid rides a short bus? Where the fuck are her parents? Why are they letting her make a fool of herself on national television? I must say I am a little disturbed with the crying brat.
Sanjaya makes me howl. I hope he makes it to the final 2 just so I can see how incredibly uncomfortable it can make the judges. That has got to be the best part of the show, judging Sanjaya, no one knows what the hell to say anymore. LOL.
Melinda is good, really good, but I don’t think there is any plastic surgery out there that can extend the neck. If there is please let me know because we should all get together and chip in to by the girl a neck. It is too freaky.
I like Blake. ALOT. I may or may not have asked Derek to beebop to me in bed last night. Not. The. Same.
Really, I have to tell you that I would much rather read your commentary than watch the show. I’ve watched it for enough seasons now that I think you’re probably hitting the nail on the head every time!
(But why is your wedding band on your middle finger?)
Thanks, Ainsley! That isn’t my wedding band…the photo was taken in 2004, right around the time I met Graham.
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Little did you know at the time you’d be wearing something similiar one finger over two years later!