Forgetaboutit.

(Warning: Spoilers for last week’s Sopranos episode in this post.)
In honour of tonight’s series finale of The Sopranos (the watching of which usually results in Graham speaking with an Italian accent for two or three hours), Graham has asked that we have a spread of Italian meats and cheeses on the coffee table during the show…some gabagool, if you will. Yeah…not happening. Instead we’ll be eating broccoli fettuccine and bruschetta for dinner. I’ll be preparing it wearing inch-long acrylic nails just like Carmela, sucking back the bottle of Italian Shiraz we bought just for the occasion.

Last week I literally watched from behind a pillow. The scene where Bobby is murdered? Couldn’t watch. The same thing happened when Phil’s goomah and her father were killed. (Trying to work a “Pussy” pun into this post somewhere…) The anticipation was terrible. If there’s time tonight before “Made in America”, I’ll watch last week’s episode again.

My prediction tonight is that Tony will be alive at the end of the episode and Phil will be dead. That’s all I’m willing to say at this point. I have no idea what will become of Carmela, Meadow or A.J., and we won’t ever really know, which is unfortunate, because their characters are so interesting. That, and Meadow’s nostrils have been widening at an alarming rate. Will they take over her entire face?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m looking forward to seeing the finale tonight. The Sopranos is a show that will be hard to top. So far I still liked Six Feet Under better (shhhh), but that doesn’t mean that I think the writing was of better quality or that fundamentally it was a better show. What I like about the Sopranos is the way you can deconstruct an episode. I know some people hate to pick apart and analyze TV shows but I like doing it, and David Chase makes it so easy with all of his imagery and symbolism.

As for Graham and his predictions?