Every morning, unless it’s raining, I haul Farley outside so he can sit under the dogwood and drool over the mourning doves in the garden. He demands I make this a priority, whirling around and making weird kitty warbling noises until finally he impatiently starts to nibble at my toes or hand or whatever small bit of flesh is exposed. If I continue to ignore him, he’ll attack with surprising fierceness for an animal who is so darn cute. So I just avoid the scratching and take him outside before I make the coffee.
Our next door neighbour has a little schnauzer named Shotsy (Shotsie? Schotzy? Schotzie?) that barks at everything that moves. Always has, always will.
ARF! ARFARFARFARFARF ARF! ARF!
Even though I know it’s coming, it always scares the crap out of me. It annoys me to no end that this freakin’ dog barks at me when I’m in MY OWN YARD. I’m reminded of that episode of Seinfeld in which Elaine hires Kramer and Newman to kidnap the yappy dog in her back yard and drop it out in the country.
Every morning, without fail, Schotzy’s (I like this spelling the best) owner says, loud enough for me to hear, “Schotzy, you stop that! You leave her alone. Come here!” Schotzy never comes. Lately my neighbour has been scolding the dog for barking before he’s even uttered the first ARF!, which tells me she is only saying this for my benefit, because she knows how annoying it is to be startled in your bare feet and housecoat first thing in the morning. Her lip service is, at times, more annoying than the barking.
Lately I’ve been grouchily slamming the sliding screen door mid-ARFARFARF, but the barking doesn’t seem to phase Farley at all. Is it sad that I’m taking lessons in cool from my cat?
Oh, I so often think that, in telling my dog not to bark, I’m making just as much, if not more, noise than the dog. Sigh…
There’s nothing like being startled in your own yard is it? Especially after just taking the “abuse” of the housecat! (My miaow is the same way)
Gotta love dog owners who pretend to have trained their dogs to obey their commands. I can’t stand barky dogs. But I do love me some doggy… just not the tiny yappy kind!
Your cat has admirable sangfroid.
I hate yappy dogs, I really do. Especially when I’m paying a mortgage for the privilege.
Can you teach Farley to bark?
Not sad. Inspired. I need to follow my cats’ leads more often.