Oh look, here’s a picture of my bed. Does it look strange at all to you? Yes? That’s because the mofo is BROKEN.
My bed is broken and before you congratulate me, it wasn’t broken in the way every bed SHOULD be broken, no.
Graham has a habit of getting into bed in a way that can only be described as launching himself in there. He starts off over near the bathroom door, throws his body into the air and WHOOSH! arrives into bed with a fluorish, thrashing his body around until he’s found his comfy spot. It’s like a high jump, really.
While I have appreciation for Olympic sports, I’d really rather he didn’t do this while I was already in the bed, because while I enjoy a good knock against the headboard as much as the next gal, this pre-slumber bounciness has a tendency to make me, well…a bit queasy.
The other night, when Graham performed his high jump, there was a loud, sharp CRACK as his ass landed on the mattress. And I laughed my ass off. So did Graham. He’s spent most nights since then sleeping atop several large law books that have until now served no other purpose but to pad my office walls. Of course once the books were propping up the bed, I nearly immediately needed several for work, so last night he slept with his head well below the level of the rest of his body, and the levels of snoring achieved were incredible.
All of this is just to say babe…I love you, but until you get that bed fixed properly, our cat is the only pussy you’re gonna find in there.
hehehe!!! that is too bad that the bed broke that way!!!
good luck with the ultimatum!!!
Helen’s last blog post..Why can’t I act like I’m 4?!?!?!
too funny.
Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..Suburbanity and the Future
Aw, and I was so hopeful it was broken the old fashioned way.
Chicky Chicky Baby’s last blog post..And instead of casino chips you get The Father, Son and Holy Ghost
You can always break the new bed the right way
Gabriella’s last blog post..Mmmm Vampires
Ha!
That is all I have to say
Angella’s last blog post..Three Posts In One
*snort*
That last line is CLASSIC.
mamatulip’s last blog post..As requested: The pointy lid
the last line?
PERFECTION
didn’t see that last line coming…but it just could not have ended any other way.
manager mom’s last blog post..Suck On This, Dilbert
I don’t get it – how else can you break a bed? What’s that? ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the other kind of pussy – gotcha.
motherbumper’s last blog post..what red, white, and scared all over?
If it was an olympic sport, my husband could compete with yours. He broke a box spring and a bed frame that way, on two different occasions.
kateanon’s last blog post..Weekend ends
Dood. I’m laughing out loud in the middle of Starbucks, ruining the pretty good front of “I’m working very hard over here on this laptop!” that I had going on. Thanks a lot
mimi’s last blog post..Assorted nonsense
OH My, this is a funny post…I am laughing out loud and snorting soup out my nose!
Thanks for sharing!
laura from the Fringe’s last blog post..Sammy Slowdown Set for the Slammer?
“…while I enjoy a good knock against the headboard as much as the next gal…”
That is TOO funny.
I also enjoy a good high jump into bed, but I have yet to crack a bed frame. Way to go, Graham!
Ainse’s last blog post..the summer stone bracelet