The Moth and the Butterfly

The Moth and the Butterfly

There’s no denying it. Lately I’ve felt like there is something missing. Life is a simple flurry of editing work, writing activities, gardening, cooking and cleaning. Once in awhile I meet up with a friend for coffee or lunch. I visit my community garden. We go to the movies. I’m fortunate to be able to travel every once in awhile.

I have a good life. My husband loves me and more than that, he cares for me. We are healthy. Our home is safe and sound. We live in a wonderful part of the world in which opportunity can, and frequently does, knock. I count these blessings daily.

Every once in awhile, though, I feel a strong urge to make a change, and I’m not just talking about painting the living room. I’m constantly looking at real estate listings and job postings, which is ridiculous because I love our house and I love working from home. I wish I could stop doing this to myself…it’s a weird form of emotional torture, this constant imagining that I should be doing something different.

A couple of evenings ago I was puttering about in the back yard in the vegetable garden with my mp3 player on, pulling weeds, straightening plants and tying up tomatoes.

I noticed a lovely little speckled moth flitting around my purple cabbage. It was really pretty, and didn’t seem to notice I was mere inches away. I watched as it fluttered off to find a tastier dinner. As my gaze followed its flight away from the vegetable patch, my eyes fell on my short row of zinnias, brightly coloured and proud-looking blooms that come up to my waist. There, perched on the edge of a vivid pink flower, feasting on the sweet nectar inside was a magnificent monarch butterfly. The monarch stretched its wings open ever so slowly, and then closed them as it dipped its proboscis into the centre of the flower.

I couldn’t help but look at this small scene as a metaphor of some kind, a sign that there is more to come in this life for me. I think maybe one of the big lessons I have to learn in this life is how to stand still, look around and realize that what is here and now is absolutely fine, wonderful in fact. This long and winding road may just lead me right back to where I began. Perhaps it’s okay to keep yearning for something more, even if that “something more” is right here beneath my feet.

We’ve got year one under our belt at BlogHers Act Canada…check out our year-end wrap-up, and find out how you can get involved this coming year!

My latest article is up at Suite101.com, entitled Weeds in the Vegetable Garden.

This month, participate in Blog the Recession! My usual practice is to use my reader as a jumping point to visiting blog sites, but if you’re addicted to your reader, consider joining in and spreading the love this month, helping to boost the page views of your peers!

13 thoughts on “The Moth and the Butterfly

  1. Good for you, being in the moment. The Monarchs aren’t as prevalent as they’ve been in years past, but a few of them are out there, and they’re gorgeous, no?

    I’m trying to squeeze every second out of this summer, the season that races by more quickly than any other. ‘Cuz this is, you know, it.

    Ellie’s last blog post..The Journey

  2. I definitely could not have said that better myself. It is such good advice to say “live in the moment” but it is sooo hard to do as an adult. We are always so caught up in planning and the future that it’s hard to enjoy the now and see it for what it is, a blessing indeed. And you do seem to have a pretty contented life…what I would do to work from home!!!

    Kathy’s last blog post..Great things come in small packages

  3. I, too, feel enormous internal pressure to do more or do better. I think it is a sign of our times. I am amazed when I watch my daughter—she’s two, and everything is right here, right now. Of course, the pressures on her are vastly different. And nowadays, the expectations for us, as women, are growing and changing so rapidly…

    *Sigh*

    Ashley’s last blog post..Just Living Life

  4. Beautiful post, Amy. It is soooo haaaaard to content oneself with the here and the now, but then, when we look back on what we were zooming through, it seems to become meaningful in retrospect. I don’t want to live like that. Let’s watch the butterflies and enjoy the now. As much as we can.

    mimi’s last blog post..It’s moms all the way down

  5. I think that the “more!” feeling is perfectly natural, and in my case, the healthy thing to do with it is channel it. I don’t have to move. I don’t have to get a new job. I just need fresh, exciting things on the horizon at all times. 🙂 I joined derby because I needed a change, and I’m sure at some point in the next year or two I will quit derby for the same reason and pursue something else (I’m being all vague like I don’t know, but I think I’ll move up to martial arts). I think that the “more!” feeling is easier to satisfy than we realize, but it’s so strong at times that we become convinced that we need to uproot our entire lives just to shut it up for a while.

  6. And you know what? Maybe it’s not beneath your feet and that’s okay too. Sometimes your gut tells you what your head hasn’t figured out yet. But you have a wonderful attitude – I bet you’re on your way, wherever that way may take you.

    Mom101’s last blog post..Random Bits of Randomy Randomness

  7. Oh, you have so much in store, but the other thing? I really think that questing is a good thing. So what that you love your home, working from home? What’s so wrong with looking around, wondering. Some times it leads you back home and with renewed passion.
    Fly.

    amanda’s last blog post..Baby Peep

  8. I just happened upon your blog and enjoy reading it. The day you saw the moth/butterfly reminded me of when I’ll be in a Starbucks drive thru and suddenly see the cutest little bird. It seems time does stop & make you appreciate what you have right now. I get the same feelings too–wanting to do more, something different, but I have two boys to raise & need to concentrate on that aspect of my life. Nice to know that others feel the same way. Thanks

Comments are closed.

Comments are closed.