Graham has finally finished his first year hours for his carpentry apprenticeship. This means that instead of fourteen dollars an hour, he’ll be making an amount that makes it a lot easier for us to meet our financial obligations. The first year is over. He’ll never be a first year apprentice again. Big sighs all around.
The restaurant we were working at before it burned down is also about to re-open. We’ve done our paperwork to get signed up to work there again, which makes it all seem much more tangible.
These two small changes have made us almost giddy over the last week. We keep looking at each other and saying things like, “Hey hon, guess what? We’re going to have some money!” It’s the little things…little things that eight dollar bottle of facial moisturizer I’ve been going without, or the shampoo that costs more than $1.99 a bottle, or the seven dollar piece of asiago cheese I agonized over purchasing on my grocery run last week.
Then Friday Graham called me on his break, like he usually does. There was something different in his tone this time.
“What are you up to?” he asked.
“Oh, just cleaning up our filing cabinet,” I answered. It turns out my system of filing is a little too bewildering for him, so I’ve been converting it back to an alphabetical system.
“Oh yeah? You want a new filing cabinet? I’ll buy you whatever kind you want,” he said.
“You will, will you? Okay, yeah, I want one of those fancy vertical files to match my office furniture.”
“Okay, I’ll buy you one this weekend,” he answered.
Now I was getting really curious.
“How are you going to do that?” I asked, cautiously, thinking about the five hundred dollar cable/cellphone/Internet bill we just received in the mail.
“I got offered a job in Calgary today. It’ll pay me enough that we can pay all our bills off and finally get ahead.”
The job would last for nine months. He’d be in Calgary for eight weeks at a time, and then have five days off to fly home to me. The company would pay for all flights, a hotel room and food. If he didn’t want to come home for those five days, they’d pay for me to fly out there, instead. The paycheque would be enough that over those nine months we’d easily be able to pay off all of our credit cards and actually save some money. Make some home improvements. Splurge for the eleven dollar hunk of parmesan for a change.
We chatted for a few more minutes, our chat mostly consisting of me firing questions at him, and him doing his best to answer them.
“I guess we just need to ask ourselves if the money is worth being apart for that long,” I concluded.
In typical female fashion, I burst into tears as I hung up the phone. I was so overwhelmed by all of the million questions that whirled through my head. I missed him already.
Is this our chance? After the challenges we’ve faced this year, is the universe finally throwing us a favour?
Can our relationship handle us being apart for eight weeks at a time?
What will my family think of him leaving me for eight weeks?
What will his family think of him leaving for eight weeks?
What will happen if he gets hurt out there?
What if I need something in the house fixed while he’s gone? Something I can’t do myself?
Will he be safe where he’s staying?
Will he be close to my step-brother’s home, where he can visit some family?
Will I be safe here at home alone?
Can he come home for Christmas?
Can I handle being alone that much?
And finally,
Is my shrink in the office today?
Your relationship can handle it.
Things’ll be fine. Sounds like an AWESOME opportunity!
Just make sure that you don’t get too used to it.
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Oh wow. That is a lot to process, Amy! I’d be thinking the exact same things, I think. 8 weeks is a long time, but it is such an opportunity. I don’t have any advice, because I have no idea what I would decide in the situation. Maybe it would help you to talk to Tanis? Her husband is gone for long periods of time and she might be able to give you a bit more insight into what it will mean for you.
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Whatever you decide, it will all be okay. Your relationship can handle it (and think of all the reunions you’ll have – it’ll be like falling in love the first time all over again
)
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ohmigosh! crazy!
is there any chance you can do your work from Calgary?
i think you should take it! it’s not that long…9 months…and think about what that little time apart will do for your future!!
I spent 8 weeks away from Emily one summer. It was difficult, but not impossible. But I was doing something I liked doing every day which made the distance bearable (and phone calls every day helped). But if I were doing something I didn’t really enjoy, or that wasn’t the goal itself, but was doing something IN ORDER TO do something else I think it would have been very very difficult to keep going.
Backpacking Dad’s last blog post..Put your money where your mouth is
It sounds great to me! I was going to ask the same question – if you can do some of your work from there – like maybe instead of flying out there for 5 days, maybe stay and extra week sometimes, that way it wouldn’t really be 8 weeks alone at a time? This probably won’t make you feel any better…but as an old married couple…if I didn’t have kids and want help with that…I’d actually relish 8 weeks of alone time…is that sad? maybe I need a shrink too…I’m sure it’s still hard, but it will be okay I think!
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Well, that’s a tough one. I think it would be challenging, no doubt. I would have a hard time with it myself. However, I think it sounds like a golden opportunity. It sounds like a wonderful financial bonus, and it is for less than a year. Good luck with your decision!
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Your relationship can SO handle it. It really can. This is amazing!
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That is such wonderful news. I can think of positive answers for every single one of your questions.
K used to travel like that and I wondered about the same kinds of things but I feel confident about you and Graham and think you will be fine.
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I know I don’t “know” you that well, and I only know Graham through what you’ve said of him here, but I do think the two of you could handle this. It’s an opportunity, it’s a chance for you to get ahead…and then there’s the old adage: absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I understand every single thing you’ve written here, but truly, I do think you could manage it.
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Just piping in to re-iterate everything everyone else has said. 8 weeks is a long time, but thank goodness for video chats and unlimited long distance and the like. And yes, absence does make the heart grow fonder (as does being in a financially good place).
Good luck with your decision!
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