The first month.

Nate is four weeks old today. I can hardly believe it. This is how it’s going to be, isn’t it? Time is going to go so quickly and soon my little tiny baby boy is going to be gone, replaced by a bigger baby boy, then a toddler, then a kid. It seems impossible to me that someday he won’t be small enough to fit in my arms anymore.

We’ve learned so much this past month about each other, but mostly I think I’ve learned a whole lot about myself and what I am capable of, both physically and emotionally. Friends and family members told me how much I was going to love the baby when he was born, but nothing, nothing could have prepared me for the overwhelming love I have inside of me for Nathan. It sneaks up on me at the most surprising times, always there just under the surface, but often showing itself through smiles, laughter and tears of joy.

We’re really getting the feeding down, and I might complain about the lack of sleep or the fact that I can only sleep in little spurts, but mostly I don’t mind it. This small, short-term sacrifice is well worth the gift that we’ve been given. It’s just my job right now to be there for Nate, to comfort and love him and make sure he learns that he can trust us to take care of him. It’s a job that I can do, that I am proud and honoured to do, even in the wee hours of the morning.

I feel like there is someone I should thank for giving Graham and I such a beautiful baby and for making us a family. I don’t know who that someone is, though. I just know that I will forever be grateful and humbled by the opportunity to be a mother. To be a mother to this wonderful little person we created together.

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