Playdates for Dummies.

When Graham and I took our prenatal classes back in September last year, one of the things that the instructor talked about was how important it is for new moms to get support. Support in the way of family, friends, and especially from other new moms in our community.

“Your friends who had their babies months ago?” she said. “Forget them. You need to meet other women who are going through the same stages you are at the same time.”

We were given a list of mom and baby groups that are free of charge to check out once our kids were born. I remained skeptical, but I tucked it away for future reference.

In the first few months after Nate was born, we were in survival mode. Joining a structured group that met at a certain time every week would have been a real challenge for me, and it was one I wasn’t willing to meet yet. A lactation consultant asked me once if Nate and I were getting out every day. EVERY DAY, she asked. At that point it was a miracle that I managed to get dressed every day.

To me, the whole idea of joining a mom and baby group sounded really intimidating. After all, it isn’t as easy to make friends as adult women. I guess I just don’t feel like forcing the issue is the way to go. Maybe my reluctance to reach out to women has something to do with the experiences I had as a kid, maybe not, I don’t know. What I do know is that meeting and making friends with new women isn’t that easy for me.

Fortunately, I have several friends who were also pregnant or had had babies in recent months, so we did was seemed logical: we formed our own mom and baby group.

Nate with his future girlfriend, Sophie. (In case you’re wondering, those awesome wooden blocks are from The Land of Nod.)

For months now, my friend Kelly and I have been getting together on a weekly basis with the kiddos…we take turns hosting in our homes every week. We’ve invited other mom friends to come along, too, but so far it’s just been the two of us. We talk mostly about babies and motherhood, but we talk about other stuff, too. And I think we can be more open, more candid, more honest about the experience of motherhood than we could be with a group of relative strangers. Knowing that we have that guaranteed chance to get out of the house with our baby in tow is so great. And seeing a slightly older baby grow and develop is really fun, too. It’s like a sneak peek at how Nate will be changing in the coming months.

A friend of mine had her baby just ten days after Nate was born. Another woman I know just had her baby girl, and our other friend is due in June. Our group is sure to grow!

Nate with his BFF, Xander. These two don’t even know what good buddies they’re going to be someday. Moms can hope.

Do you belong to any mom and baby groups? Did you form your own? What’s your experience with them been like?

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