“Can you imagine your life without him?”

Last week I met up for lunch with my two friends and their babies. Shannon’s little guy Xander is almost exactly Nate’s age, just ten days younger, actually. Jodi’s baby girl Abby (one of the girl’s names we toyed with before we knew Nate was a boy) is just a couple of weeks old. With all of our baby gear, we took up about four tables in the bar area of the Boston Pizza restaurant where the three of us used to work. Our server was our other friend, Erica, who is also expecting a baby this June. Our mom and baby group is complete!

While we were hanging around telling the war stories about the battles our lady bits have fought, the restaurant’s owner came by to ogle the babies.

“Can you imagine your life without her?” she asked Jodi.

“No,” Jodi said. “I know she’s just like, two weeks old, but it already seems impossible that we didn’t have her before.”

Shannon and I looked at each other and blinked.

“I can remember life before Nate,” I said. We laughed.

Sunday morning coffee with Graham while we made fun of home renovation and house flipping shows.

Weekday afternoon naps without a baby monitor on.

Eight hour stretches of uninterrupted sleep.

Playing music loudly in the living room, a glass of Strongbow in one hand.

I knew what was meant by the question. I mean, of course I can remember what life was like before Nate came along. Can I imagine my life without him? Sure I can. It’s just that I don’t want to. He is as permanent a member of this family as either Graham or I are.

I think that saying our lives were incomplete before he got here just sells the earlier years of our marriage short. We needed that time to build what we have now. I wouldn’t trade those years together, just Graham and I, for anything in the world.