Two.

Posted by Amy on 04 May 2008 | Tagged as: Family, Motherhood?

When I read over at Better Than a Playdate that a virtual baby shower was being held for three lovely ladies who are expanding their families to include a second child, I thought long and hard about what to write for them. Her Bad Mother, Chicky Chicky Baby, Mrs. Chicken and Sam are all about to become a new kind of parent, the kind that has so much love in her heart that she can see beyond the late nights, lack of sleep, adventures in poop, teething, bumps and bruises, and throw their arms around two children.

These kinds of blog shower events are always a little bit tricky for me because I don’t have any kids, which means I don’t have any parenting advice to give. The only frame of reference I have for talking about being a parent to a second child comes from my experience being the older one of two kids.

Being a big sister is a part of my identity that I treasure most. Although I’ve never really thought about it this way before, I can see now that what my own parents gave to me in my younger brother Matt was a very personal, very precious gift. You see, being one of two means that you get to become a little kid team. You have someone to travel through childhood with. There’s someone not just to play with, but to navigate the waters of bullying, schoolwork, tough family times and friendship with.

My brother and I have had our share of difficulties, as many adult siblings do, but we inevitably know that we share something that nobody else in the world can share. Our relationship is completely unique.

So my small, rather insignificant piece of advice to share with these loving people is to relax, even during the hard times, when you think you just can’t manage these two busy kids. Relax and revel in the knowledge that you have created not just a couple of little people, but a new relationship, a tie between two people, that can’t be recreated or broken, ever. You haven’t taken something away from your only child…you’ve given him or her a brother or sister to love.

Amy and Matt 6

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6 Responses to “Two.”

  1. on 04 May 2008 at 8:12 am   motherbumper

    Not small or insignificant by a long shot :)

    motherbumper’s last blog post..SHOWER TIME: Two’s a Charm

  2. on 04 May 2008 at 8:45 am   Her Bad Mother

    This is EXACTLY what I needed to read this weekend – a reminder that I’m giving something invaluable to E, and not taking away. EXACTLY.

    (Also? That picture? SO. SWEET.)

    Her Bad Mother’s last blog post..Oh, Hai, Person With The Childbirth Horror Videos? DO NOT SHOW ME THEM

  3. on 04 May 2008 at 12:25 pm   mamatulip

    This post brought tears to my eyes. It’s beautiful, and, as an only child it is exactly how I feel about my children and their relationship.

    mamatulip’s last blog post..Two’s a charm

  4. on 04 May 2008 at 4:10 pm   Mrs. Chicken

    I feel the same about my brother and sister. Thank you so much for reminding me of that.

    Mrs. Chicken’s last blog post..Because God Knows I Need All The Advice I Can Get

  5. on 04 May 2008 at 8:54 pm   Chicky Chicky Baby

    Being a big sister is exactly why I decided to have a second child. Very good advice, lady.

    Love the picture of the two of you!

    Chicky Chicky Baby’s last blog post..Cue the synthesizer, it’s The Final Countdown

  6. on 04 May 2008 at 11:08 pm   Mocha

    I mostly wanted to trade my baby sister in for the neighbor’s cat not really realizing that I was already baby number two. Duh.

    If you had a dime for every time someone tagged you for a meme, how much would you have?

    10 cents for today, that’s for sure. Follow me back to my blog and contemplate doing one, wouldja?

    Mocha’s last blog post..Time For Something Light